Jim Leyland pitched in with the comic relief Sunday night at the Ilitch Charities One Team, One Community Gala.
Eminem wasn't there, but he left three worthy nonprofits laughing even more — as in gleeful, pinch-me, skipping-all-the-way-to-the-bank titters.
One Team, One Community is a dependably good event, meaning the speechmaking is short and effective, and the rest of the evening is given over to enormous shrimp, interesting auction items and music. Also, there's alcohol, though I tend not to indulge at these things for fear I'd wind up treating the silent auction table like the Home Shopping Network.
Sometimes the auction action can serve as a yardstick for what's cool and what's cooling off. Michael Phelps, for instance, made his last big splash a few weeks ago in London. He donated an autographed swim cap, and bundled with a magazine cover signed by DeWitt gymnast Jordyn Wieber, it went for $400.
On the other side of the main floor at the MotorCity Casino's Sound Board showroom stood a guitar signed by Jimmy Buffett. Final price: $1,700.
At least for one evening, a 65-year-old singer with nine platinum albums was worth markedly more than a swimming legend with 18 gold medals. But for the evening's beneficiaries — the College for Creative Studies, Alternatives for Girls and Reading Works — nothing stacked up to Eminem.
His donation was a personalized video. Exactly what that means seems unclear: a rap written specifically for your cousin Archie, with authentic slinky dancers and a professional director? A quick rendition of "Happy Birthday to You," mumbled toward the lens of a cellphone?
My money is on something in between, but it wasn't my money that brought down the auctioneer's gavel. The top bid was …
OK, guess.
No, higher.
Higher yet.
Ready?
$52,500.
That was 7½ times as much as the Ultimate Tigers Spring Training and Home Game Experience, a nifty package that included a trip for two to spring training, the chance to serve as manager for a day, and other lavish things that only really matter if you won them. Leyland, the Tigers' manager, took the stage to rally potential bidders, pointing out that "from listening to talk shows, we know there's a lot of managers out there."
The spring training adventure will begin with a 6 a.m. arrival at the ballpark, he said, followed by one of the best cups of coffee in all of Lakeland, Fla., though that's a sketchy distinction since "there's only one Starbucks within 30 miles."
Then, he said, "you will smoke a pack of Marlboro cigarettes," make all the decisions during the game, and deal with reporters "who want to know on Feb. 28 if Brennan Boesch will be hitting sixth on Aug. 7."
It was good stuff, and here's something better: the stand-up manager matched the $7,000 winning bid. That's seriously generous.
Love and marriage
Switching from managers to matrimony, former Detroiter Mike Downey checked in with an observation from the wedding section of Sunday's New York Times.
New Jersey newlywed Cara Singer, he read, is pursuing a doctorate in religion at Columbia. Husband Aaron Rock is chasing his Ph.D. in Near Eastern studies at Princeton. None of that matters to you, me or Mike, but he perused carefully and discovered this:
The couple will mutually hyphenate their last names and go by Rock-Singer.
Detroit Zoo extends hours
Be advised that the Detroit Zoo will adopt extended hours for Labor Day weekend, staying open from 9 a.m. to 8 p.m. Saturday and Sunday.
Monday, though, the hours revert back to the normal 9-to-5. Tuesday is a school day, especially for the fish.
From The Detroit News: http://www.detroitnews.com/article/20120828/OPINION03/208280318#ixzz26HqfMJWr
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